Posts of type Note

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1 Liter Wasser aufkochen, 2 - 3 Kamilleteebeutel in einem Topf ziehen lassen. Danach 2 Prisen Salz dazugeben und nochmal aufkochen.

Live seems so much more polished compared to Reason, both version 10. The audio editing functionality in Reason feels tacked on and does not keep up with what Live has to offer. Heck, Live has automatic mp3 export <3

The atom-elixir plugin is fucking wizardry. Five minutes in the code and I feel like an idiot. One hour in the code andihjefiudfjiogfjafhgiofjgdfiogj

Right now I’m thinking I don’t have an eating disorder. It could be just a bad habit I developed in school when I refused to make lunch for myself at home. So I was stuck with the 2 euros my mom gave me. I remember going to the supermarket and buying sweets and other unhealthy stuff and that was my lunch. It may sound stupid now but when I think about being a teenager with depression, it doesn’t.

Still, right now I’m stuck with this habit of eating the bare minimum for the day. At least I hear my stomach screaming for food more often than years ago.

It’s a strange feeling. Like something that loomed over my head for a long time but I never really acknowledged it. I always knew there was something wrong. I have become so used to the fact that I’m lightweight and skinny that it has become normal for me to eat this little.

A doctor just told me that I have an eating disorder and that I should get professional help.

Part of me is glad that he brought it up and another part is just fucking puzzled. I always thought that eating disorders involved binge-eating and throwing up and feeling guilty for eating at all.

To me, eating is just not that important.